Author Archives: moccana

Oh Hey WordPress!

Look who found her way back to wordpress? A lost mother who has since gained another little monkey! Maybe this time we can be better about keeping up with our chronicles. Well, let’s not set the bar up too high. A little catching up:

Cade Lin Le (aka Monkey#4) was born on 1/4/2015!

Baby Cade










Well, at 20wks, he’s not as small anymore and is capable of a duel:











On the other hand O turned 4 this weekend and is a lean mean nerf machine!









Have you ever tried digging a tunnel at the beach with a small shovel? Well, growing into a family of four feels a bit similar to that. Progress is slow, regression is a recurring theme, and it’s messy, in a very tangible sense, but every progress made brings so much joy!

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Posted by on May 27, 2015 in Baby


Baby No Mo’

Summer had come and gone. O spent his second Thanksgiving with a few firsts: first plane ride, first visit to Oregon, first white Thanksgiving, first Thanksgiving meal of which he could actually participate in. Before O was even born I KNEW I would do a horrible job capturing and documenting his firsts. It really takes good reaction time to record those moments. Technology has been a huge help. Snapping photos, posting them, etc. Now that O is 6 months into his toddlerhood, it really honestly has been a lot of fun and frustrations because he KNOWS but he DOESN’T KNOW. He knows fun, he knows funny, he knows what he wants and what he doesn’t want. He knows he doesn’t want clothes on, doesn’t want mommy to leave, doesn’t want to go to bed, no no no no no with a determined headshake. He doesn’t know that veggie is good for him, he doesn’t know that his feet never leaves the ground when he jumps, that snow flakes are frosted rain, that his left shoe is not for his right foot. I get frustrated with him at times but how am I any different?

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

Oh, and he doesn’t know how to say yes =)

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Posted by on December 2, 2012 in Uncategorized


Confession from one Mommy to another (or more)

Mommy Manguy wrote a letter to all the mommas out there and this blog is not quite an attempt to respond to her letter but is merely a confession from this monkey mom.

Mommy Manguy’s blog is refreshing in the rawness of her joy and struggle of being a mother and it has been such a pleasure to share that journey and be reminded of similar frustrations or excitements in milestones. Orion has been, from what I understand, a verily easy baby. All babies have their daily moments and when certain circumstances arise (sickness, shots, teething, separation anxieties, overtired, you name it symptoms), these daily moments become days long battles that have me looking for my white flags. For working mothers, we bear the stress of being the employee that is expected of us and sometimes armoring up to fight the big-people fights, regardless of how many hours of sleep we may have gotten the night before. On the drop home or to daycare, we take off the employee ID and put on the Mom Of the Year batch. For Stay-At-Home moms, “those moments” occur exponentially more and during the day when everyone is at work, where is the escape? Who do you talk to? Mommy Manguy is right, we are on-call. Even when we are not physically there, we are mentally on-call, we are always thinking about the well-being of the baby. There is no rest for the restless mothers! 

To Mommy Manguy and other mommies: I have hid my face, I have locked myself in the bathroom, I have cried, I have walked away from my baby, I have stared at my baby, I have screamed in my head. Having grown up with an abusive childhood and having just somewhat reconciled with that past recently as an adult, I feared that I’m genetically cursed and during those moments when I felt like there was/is nothing left in me, fear and frustrations swirl within me and find themselves a new home as a ball of lead at the bottom of my heart. There are many moments when I felt hidden in the shadow of a past that I cannot change and a present that I cannot escape. Though these moments may only last for 15 seconds, to a mother it feels like an eternity, a mental and emotional prison of darkness. It is long enough to doubt your bond with your precious one, to doubt that you are not qualified/equipped/destined/ever going to be, a good mother. 

So what do I do? Anything that can break me away. If no one was around, I have gone into the bathroom, sat at the edge of the bathtub and prayed. Another thing I liked doing was grabbing the keys and taking the baby out for a drive, even if it means a 5 minute drive-thru to the local McDs to pick up some ice coffee. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband who has been helpful in every way as we go through this as a family. I have came to an understanding of giving each other a break (like today, I asked for a short break after work to go walk around Target by myself, just to talk around). Scheduling date nights, scheduling girl’s nights, inviting others over to hang out and to “help” watch the baby while you hang out. These may not seem like immediate remedies for “one of those moments” but when you are able to have some regular down time to yourself, your tank gets refueled. For immediately effective “quick fixes,” as cliche as it may sound, prayers. It can be prayers for strength but most often I found myself in prayers of thanksgiving. Reflecting on Christ on the cross as a manifestation of God’s love for us fills my love-tank and reminds me to gather love not from myself but from Him who is love. 

This post has deviated quite a bit from the usual lightheartedness and briefness, but let this monkey mom steal a post for once =).


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Posted by on September 28, 2012 in Uncategorized




Days of no poopoo:
NEW RECORD is 6 Days!
Beat previous record of 4 days.

Rolling Over:
4 times (that we know of)
2 times eyewitnessed

Eating his own foot:
1st time today! (lasting about 3 seconds)

Sleeping in his own crib:
Going on 1 week. Longest length of sleep: 11hrs with 1 feeding

Other noteworthy accomplishments:

  • Imitating Neemo’s lips
  • Sticking his fingers up his parent’s noses
  • Perfecting his MMA kicks (Daddy 0, Orion 2)
  • Perfecting his MMA punches (Mommy 0, Daddy 0, Orion 4)
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Posted by on October 3, 2011 in Baby



An almost 4-month-old Orion was placed on the bed, smack down in the middle with his little blanket while I go get his bath water ready. Surely he was placed on his back.

I came out to get a towel and he had turned to his left side, sucking his thumb away. Went back in to turn off water. Came out to strip him and found his back facing me, face turned to one side. His right arm swinging and his left arm nowhere to be found. The little monkey hadperformed his first roll-over behind my back and he was stuck! He somehow flipped over but his left arm was stuck underneath his belly.

Doesn’t matter, I’m counting it as his first roll over. I had Uncle H as a witness!

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Posted by on September 22, 2011 in Baby


Under the cold, white ceiling, made more merciless by the ghastly fluorescent light,
accompanied by the moaning of a mother and the murmuring of doctors,
life makes his first cry with the help of a first breath and pierces the chill surrounding with his arrival, long anticipated.

Love and grace manifested in flesh through the perfectly functionable miniature body of little fingers, little toes, and, a big head.

Joy is, knowing His love for us that stretches far beyond our marble-size comprehension and grasping a fraction of it in our arms in the form of life.

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Posted by on July 7, 2011 in Baby


2lbs & 2″ later

Happy 1 month Orion!

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Posted by on June 25, 2011 in Baby