Days are slow, years are fast

I just figured out how to slow down time.  Run.  My mile time is the same as it was 20 (yup 20 friggin’) years ago, before I became a freshman in high school.  Before I played an organized sport.  Before I had to train to be competitive.  It is a whole minute and fifteen seconds slower than my mile time as a freshman in college.
This is not good considering I’m not getting any younger, 33 next week.
I have a football tournament coming up in two weeks and a triathlon in three.

Yes I was listening to “advertisements” because I dont pay for Pandora One.

 

Things I Took Away From The Practice Tri

Not in any particular order.

1. Train. You can’t wing one. You can wing a 5k or ½ marathon or even a full marathon. But you can’t wing a triathlon, no matter the distance.
2. Sleep. They are probably harder to do when you don’t get any sleep.  Probably.
3. Hydrate.  Drink something before the race or you might become light headed during the bike ride.
4. Ocean water does not count.  Drinking a gallon of this may have the reverse effect.
5. After drinking ocean water, drink water.  Gatorade is bottled ocean water.  If you drink Gatorade, you’ll still need to drink more water.
6. Don’t cramp.  It hurts and slows you down.
7. Refuel. Eat something, like a banana or carbo load the night before.  You’ll need a lot of energy.
8. You can’t buy speed.*  An expensive bike won’t make you faster if avoid 1-7.
9. Proverbs 16:18
10. Learn to swim efficiently. Races can’t be won by swimming alone, but can be loss if you get stuck wading in the water for 10 minutes and then floating on your back because you’re too tired.
11. Open water swim is to pool swim as running is to treadmill running.
12. Prepare all your gear a few hours before bedtime.  See no. 2.
13. They should take swimming out and add football.
14. It takes a few days to recover.  It still hurts.

*However you can obtain it illegally, in pill form.

 

6.5 Billion People

I forgot to charge my phone last night, and it ran out of power.
Charged phone and took Orion to school, came back home to get ready for work.
Yellow gas light came on.  Got home with 40 mins to get ready.
Had a meeting with new client and needed to print some stuff out that was emailed to me.
Internet didn’t work.
Had to wait til my phone juiced up enough to start tethering.
Had breakfast, showered, got dressed.
Connected to internet with phone and printed out the needed documents.
Started car and drove off 10 minutes late.
Checked to see how many miles are left to empty; 47.
Thought I can make it to meeting and work and then refuel after work.
After about 20 miles of driving, checked again; 0 miles to empty!
Pulled to the next gas station… 5 miles away.
Got out to pump gas and realized I left my wallet at home.
Found $1.66 worth of change.
Paid and pumped gas.  I shook the hose to get the last few drops.
Got to work and had to borrow boss’ money for lunch and gas to make it home.

6.5 billion people would still trade places with me.

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. 1Thessalonians5:18

 

Bells Palsy

Tina: Lin!
is your face ok?
me: yeah
Tina: did you develop a bells palsy?
me: monica hit me really hard
Tina: really?
awww
me: did you see her hand?
Tina: haha
no
how did this happen?
me: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151954283150457&set=a.10151159648010457.798813.596485456&type=1&theater
Tina: wow…

 

The Heist

B*o, T**a, & Cr***l ran the San Diego Rock n’ Roll Marathon. Each participant gets a free Padres ticket for the month of June. They email you a coupon code you can enter when you check out using the Padres website. B*o notices that all the codes that were sent to the racers were the same generic “SDROCK”. So we tried to get a ticket. Then thought our small group will go and got a few more. It worked ten times. We thought, maybe Exodus will want to go, got ten more tickets. Well if it worked for 20 tickets, we might as well ask Kairos to go. Punched in the code 20 more times.

Then B*o, a living conscience, decided to feel guilty and call the last place team to confess our little scam. They asked for some time to discuss and gave him a call back telling him he can use the tickets. We make the announcement and had all 40 tickets accounted for in only two weeks.

Padres lose 3 to 7 to the Rangers, B*o’s team.

Lessonm (maybe):
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. James 5:16

 

Breaking The Code (Cont.)

The rest of the trip.

Saturday, we went to some fancy schmancy crepe place in the Bellagio called Jean Philippe (probably not even his real name). Paid almost $1,000 for brunch. Then we walked to the M&M and Cocaine Cola factory stores about a mile away. On the way back to the Bellagio where we parked our car, Monica wanted to do the “Coke From Around The World” tour. I figured it’d be faster if I go and get the car and pick them up. I leave them to get the car which should have been 20 minutes. Took 50. Got lost in the casino and couldn’t find the parking lot. Then found the parking lot but forgot which floor. Pressed the alarm panic button and heard the alarm from afar, but couldn’t pin point the location. After combing three levels of parking lot, I finally get to the car and call Monica. We agree to meet behind Ross. I drive around in loops unable to find the back of the Ross and finally pick them up in some back alley off the Strip. Orion has been sleeping in Monica’s arm for about an hour. Everyone is tired, we drive back to Whitney’s. I accidentally take a nap and we all get some rest.

Night time. The girls leave. Orion and I are back on the prowl. We jump into the GTI, close the garage door and run out before it closes. I drive around for about 30 minutes looking for a local burger joint. Some how ended up eating at some Hawaiian place. It’s 8:30, windy outside, and kinda chilly. With no one to hit on in the restaurant, Orion goes on strike and decides not to eat. So we both drive home hungry.  Get out of the car to open the front door.  Someone locked it from the inside with the chain lock.

It’s 9:30 now and my phone is running on 10% power.  Orion is awake and won’t fall asleep unless the car is moving. I call Monica with no answer, so I text all the girls to get a hold of Whitney so I can get the garage door opener.  Marisa text back and I finally get a hold of Monica, they’re at Caesar’s Palace.  I punch it in the nav and get on my way.  Nav couldn’t locate the casino.  I drive to the strip and use my psychic abilities to find Caesar’s Palace and drive around the valet parking circle three times before Monica comes out.

We finally drive home and he wakes up, looks around, doesn’t see mom, gives a little whimper and falls asleep. I do some reading and try to get some rest also.  When the lights turn off, the noise starts up.  Its a sporadic clinging banging noise.  I ignore it for several hours trying to sleep thru it with no avail.  Every time I fall asleep the noise  The girls come home and I get up.  They quickly get to bed to prepare for the drive home in the morning.  This banging noise comes back.  I get up to investigate.  I come up to the kitchen vents and it gets louder and clearer.  I pull the filter out and two crickets come out and hop around.  Being tempted to let them just crawl under the stove, I wait to see what they would do.  I’m too tired to chase them around.

After staring into an oblivion for what seems like an hour, my conscious wins and convinces me to catch them and put them in the sink and drain them.  I catch both of them and put them in the in-sink-erator.  The noise continues.  I’m too tired now and fall asleep anyway.  One of the crickets jump out of death in the morning.

We drive home. The end.

Oh, that picture is just Jess lying on the ground playing Scramble with Friends against Steve.

 

Breaking The Code

The account of Me and Orion in Vegas.

Friday after we arrive at Whitney’s house, the ladies go out doing their thing, Orion and I hop into the GTI to make our move. Looking for a local joint, we arrive at the small & friendly Yummy Grill Sushi. We set up base dead center of the restaurant where everyone can see us and we can see everyone. We sit patiently for 10 minutes until three ladies finally arrive and seat themselves directly behind us. I look over at Orion and he is giving me the look, “It’s go time!”

He leans over to peer at these ladies, they pay no attention. After a few minutes of attempting to draw attention by throwing food, making noises, and banging the table , they finally turn their heads to give notice. Of course, being the wing-man, Orion gets all the attention and I get stuck with the conversation.

The weekend has just begun.
[To Be Continued…]

 

Riding The Subway

1. Buy gift card from groupon for subway.
2. Print out receipt.
3. Go to subway to redeem gift card.
4. Cashier: Sir, we dont take receipts. You have to put this code in on the website and they will send you a gift card.
5. Pay for subway sandwich with my own card.  Leaving Subway only a bit embarrassed, because I just used another card.
6. Go online to redeem receipt.
7. Two weeks later…
8. Receive gift card in the mail
9. Go back to Subway.
10. Order Sandwich
11. Return to work to eat at desk
12. Drop half of the sandwich on the floor.
13. Get my nice pants full of tomato and lettuce juice.
14. Amount of money saved: $0.00

 

Making Love

I was accused of dropping this note and some chocolates off in someone’s mailbox.   Although  I owe them a thousand of these, it wasn’t me.  At first, I just brushed it off but the fallacious accusations kept coming, and I saw it again on fb.  So I reread the note to give it meaning, and now may be on the verge of unearthing hidden biblical profound wisdom taught by Jesus.   Whether it was intentional or not, beats me.

“Thank you”, two words that can equal compensation for hundreds of hours of work or service. It closes a loop that would otherwise linger like an unsolved mystery.   It encourages and generates generosity.  And if absent, can destroy relationships and even marriages.  Not expressing gratitude communicates an air of arrogance and even rejection.

If 15 friends help a family move on a sunny Saturday, lifting boxes, packing, carrying, unpacking, organizing, dusting, vacuuming, etc. the only thing they would need in return is a simple “thank you”.   The “thank you” itself will generate a positive feeling in the friends and encourages the “free” service. It works on a simple Pavlovian-like principle: Rewarded behavior will be repeated. That positive feeling is the reward.

What if the family asked the friends to leave at night and once they left, shut the door, and never said “thank you”? How would you feel if it was you?

Jesus heals 10 lepers, and only one comes back to thank him.  The one who came back was praised and the other nine never heard from again.  Whether or not they felt gratitude or not doesn’t matter.  What mattered was whether they expressed it.  Even to Jesus, who can read our minds, it is important to say “thank you”.

The goal of the writer is to express the gratitude of a prior action or actions.  To generate that positive feeling and have it repeated.

That certain action? Making love a “verb”, to basically act out love or show it through an action.  Not to just feel or fall into it.  Saying “thank you” & showing love through action share similar impacts.  They generate generosity, close loops and the like, and the absence of it have similar consequences; broken relationships marriages and such.  It should be practiced by all of us, all the time.

It is the new Commandment that Jesus gives. It is an evangelism tool without having to speak: “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” . (Jn 13:34-35) It is the only thing that matters. (1 Cor 13:3)

Then to top off the genius ingenuity, it is signed “-Anonomyous” or anonymous which can be anyone.  The generosity generating and love reciprocation cannot be focused to anyone in particular, but to everyone.  And in theory, exponentially expanding the practice of these two behaviors.

 
(Post was written on android tab)

 

Mind My Own

Three weekends, three different activities, all different, but all great.  Two things in common; a whole day is dedicated to that activity and the other; what happens to my conscience the next 24 hours, it remains on the respective activity.  It dominates all my thoughts and hijacks my focus.  I can’t think of anything else but what we’ve just done, how great it was, how it can be better, how we can improve on it, etc. This is very common and happens to everyone, I’ve experienced it countless times.  The phenomenon, however, should not be too quickly overlooked.  It is a call to action.  A call to spend a whole day with God, a Sabbath if you will.  The fourth commandment.  The one I rarely observe.  Simply to keep my mind on the right track, to be focused on “things above” and to “rest”.

In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength…Isaiah 30:15